Life and times of the Japanese terrorist group

Now time for some different speculation, completely unrelated to Schneizel (SHI- WHAT?!). Ignore Lelouch, Ougi and Kallen in the picture above! Lets talk about the uh, little guys. The generics. :D What did they do before they were terrorists?

This whole thing is bullshit done for lulz after a discussion on IRC with Grenji.

Naoto
a.k.a: Kallen’s Brother
Lost his memories and become Canon. Seriously.

Nagata
a.k.a: Guy in the truck who goes NIPPON BANZAI and dies in S1 01
According to the novels, he was a potter. Apparently he was a little destructive or somethin’, seeing as how he wanted to unleash what he assumed was a POIZN gas capsule in the middle of a civilian area. Maybe he was an unsuccessful potter who, due to his destructive habits, often destroyed what he made. So he became poor as shit, as he had nothing to sell, and couldn’t feed his family (recall his family picture in the truck, k?) and they died and instead of blaming himself, he blamed Britannia and this led him to become a pissed off terrorist?

Sugiyama
a.k.a: Teal-blue haired guy
Sugiyama’s previous job was made obvious in R2 16, and is actually why I made this post to begin with. Remember what Lelouch tells C.C.? He had Sugiyama make her the pizza. It’s obvious, right? Sugiyama is a former Pizza Hut employee. More specifically, he must have worked as a chef for Pizza Hut, seeing as how he was able to perfectly replicate their half-and-half style pizza with sausage roll crust topping on such short notice from Zero. I mean, there was a reason why Lelouch asked him to do it, right? Lelouch must be aware of his background working with Pizza Hut, and knew he could only entrust this job to him! Sugiyama’s tragic backstory is that he was fired from Pizza Hut for being an 11 after the invasion.

Tamaki
a.k.a: The Jobber
Before he became a terrorist, Tamaki was obviously a very powerful and wealthy white collar executive businessman. There’s just no other way to look at this. Tamaki was an extremely powerful business in the upper world of Tokyo’s financial districts. His company specialized in cleaning solutions, which explains how he was easily able to become the Black Knights’ official Cleaning Support Officer. However, the Britannian invasion killed his business. Tamaki noticed that the Britannians left some lesser successful business in tact. He theorized that they took out the big ones only. Tamaki then devoted his life to jobbing, since he had already made it to the top one (well, at least in the business world) and got fiercely thrown back down. However, he then found out that jobbing really blows because you don’t get to use your FULL POWER if you’re always losing on purpose! But by the time he had realized this, he had been jobbing in his terrorist acts so much that he no longer knew how to obtain FULL POWER again. He blames Britannia for this self-imposed act of debuffing his power level.

Minami
a.k.a: Pedo
Minami is very simple to explain. You see, Minami looks at younger girls like Nunnally and Kaguya affectionately because he used to work in a daycare. This also explains why he can put up with Tamaki’s crap. Tamaki is, after all, a large child. Anyway, when he looks at Nunnally and Kaguya, it isn’t really because he’s a pedo, though his team mates probably like to joke about this with him. It’s because he’s having some pleasant memories from the good days of Japan when he was working happily at the daycare. It’s like giving yourself a dose of Refrain without the whole uh drug addiction thing as a side effect.

Yoshida
a.k.a: Guy with the weirdass hair who dies in S1 24
This guy wears short sleeves with everything, so he must be some generic muscle man. So generic of a muscle man that he DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A VOICE ACTOR except for his 2sec death yell when Suzaku blows up his Raikou back in S1. Yoshida was a generic muscle head who ran a gym down in Shinjuku, then the Brits rolled in and his gym got shut down since he’s 11 and all. Fueled by his RAGE over the Britannian’s shutting down his gym, he decided to put his brute strength to work and joined Naoto’s terrorist group. At first he worked carrying boxes and other stuff to use his awesome STR stat.

Inoue
a.k.a: The only girl besides Kallen
Tamaki’s Girlfriend mentioned that nothing is said about Inoue in the novels. Ougi thinks that Inoue is not her real name. Inoue is obviously Cecile’s long lost twin sister, which is why they sound the same and have similar colored hair. (This is a horrible voice actor joke.) However for various unknown reasons, she doesn’t actually like Britannia. It’s assumed that Inoue is incestuous and in love with her sister, and Britannia is actually anti-incest despite how fucking awesome Schneizel x Clovis is. Thus, Inoue decided to fuck up Britannia’s shit so she could come back and marry her sister, and hopefully take here away from that fruity as shit Scientist guy her sister was following around. Not wanting to use her real Britannian name, she faked an alias, “Inoue”, then became proficient in Japanese, and then joined a terrorist group. Unfortunately, she was killed during the Black Rebellion and was never able to fulfill her dream of legalized lesbian incest.

It’s strongly believed that Yoshida and Inoue were casualties of an unfortunate yet life threatening disease called “Made too many fucking characters and now we need to trim the cast down before R2 when we bullshit like 30 more characters”-itis, but I have yet to find substantial evidence to sufficiently back up these claims.

4 Comments

• 

  Grenji (July 31, 2008 @ 5:32 pm)

  Holy shit, Yoshida seriously never had a voice actor? He never even spoke!? Damn, all this time I thought he said something. Still, this guy makes Rivalz look all the more lamer considering, even though he’s a random grunt with about two or three minutes of screentime total, he’s accomplished more than Mr. Cardemonde (or whatever the fuck it was) has ever done >_>

  Lelouch better hope C.C. doesn’t find out about Sugiyama’s former job if he wants to go down the C.C. route. I predict an ‘accident’ in the near future for our poor blue….. or teal…. or turqoise or whatever haired nobody.

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  theflow (July 31, 2008 @ 5:34 pm)

  Inoue (if that’s her real name) was supposedly a hairdresser before the war

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  風の谷の名無しさん (August 1, 2008 @ 10:51 am)

  I couldn’t help but notice how Kallen was suddenly talking about her brother with Nunally earlier, after he’d come up in discussion just about never before.

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  J (August 4, 2008 @ 4:11 pm)

  “Tamaki is, after all, a large child.”

  amen .

  [Reply]

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